Fun on the wards

So I started inpatient pediatrics this week, and while traipsing around 5 East listening to stuffed animals' hearts and lungs and placing bets on which pregnant resident is gonna pop first, I've started playing a little game (in my own head...yes, I'm easily amused) I like to call, "Pediatrics and Surgery: same or different?"

For example, our senior resident was gone yesterday, but left us a paper to fill out about newborns as "homework." She came back today (she's very cheery and blond...just painting a picture of the peds residents for you) and said, "So, guys, did you do your homework?" and we said, "Why, yes we did," and she said, "Great! We'll go over it during ice cream tomorrow." Because, you see, Friday is Ice Cream Day on 5 East. So for this one the answer to my game is: different. There is no Ice Cream Day in surgery. Instead, sometimes if you're really lucky you can swipe Lorna Dunes while you're doing a consult in the ER.

Round two: My (blond, cheery) intern seems to have something of a policy of doling out no less than 18 warm fuzzies every minute. Like, I retrieve one piece of paper (that I probably should have had in the first place), and she'll say, "You're doing such a great job!" or the other student and I might, you know, see our own patients for 5 minutes, and she'll say, "Oh my goodness, you two are just so fantastic!" I think you can guess the answer to this one: that's right, different. The surgery residents don't have time for warm fuzzies. Maybe inside they think we're doing a great job, but their outside is too busy saying, "This is a lap pad!! I wanted a four-by-four!!!!" or, "Cut! I said cut here!!!!" to really tell us out loud.

I actually had to phone a friend today to ask for a same one. She said (and she's right): Pee remains very important. I continue to monitor the urine output of my patients at near-OCD levels, and pediatrics adds the added twist of forcing me to calculate everything in cc/kilogram, exposing my horrendous math skills for all the world to see (sorry, mom). Actually, I never knew I was so bad at mental arithmetic until I had to calculate stuff like: how many teaspoons of tylenol should a 23-pound child get if the tylenol suspension has 160cc/mL and the dosage is 15mg/kg? Oy vey. (Usually I end up scratching my head and blindly pressing buttons on my calculator, until I eventually admit defeat and start rummaging around in the drawers for the acetaminophen dosing chart.)

Anyhoo, all in all this has been a fun game for me. I'll definitely try to keep playing as I'm enjoying a sundae tomorrow, while making sure to keep the caramel sauce off the expensive end of my stethoscope.